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Disappointing News From Ralston
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Disappointing News From Ralston

And my admission's essay

This evening I found out that I had not been admitted to Ralston College’s MA in Humanities.

Ralston College is a new institute of higher learning focused on free thought, free speech, truth, and beauty. The program is a year long, intensive study of Western Civilization with clear writing and challenging reading being focal points of learning. The emphasis on reading reminded me of what Groucho Marx once said, “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”

The Chancellor, Dr. Jordan Peterson, took the time to film a video that was shared with all the applicants. In it he says, “We read every application with care and gratitude.” Over one thousand people applied for twenty-four spots.

The first thing I did when I found out was cry. Then, it being a Saturday night, I went to mass.

Denial of a dream causes disruption and then, disappointment. It creates a  decision in the form of a fork in the road. On one side there are stairs and on the other there is a ramp. The easy choice is to allow oneself to drift. First into despair, then deeper into despondency, and finally into hell. That way appears easier because it slopes down. The path does not offer resistance but it leads to death.

The harder choice is to climb the stairs. First into humor, then higher into happiness, and finally into hope. That way is harder because it goes up. The path offers resistance but it leads to life.

Two weeks ago, I began the process of reinstating my USCG Captain’s License, which lapsed in 2018. With any luck, I will be driving Zodiacs in Alaska again before the end of the summer. I joined a class action lawsuit against the City of Seattle, filed a charge with the EEOC, and I am still pursuing the internal grievance process with the city. Last week I entered the first 5000 words of my novel into a First Chapters contest and I continue to look at other avenues for having it published. Recently, I have had two different couples, that I love very much, ask me to officiate at their weddings. So, I will pursue becoming ordained for that purpose. Who know where that might lead me?

Below is the 1000 word essay I submitted to Ralston that got me past the first round in the admission’s process. The prompt was to explain your interest and aptitude for an intensive graduate school program in Western Civilization, including a term in Greece, learning Greek, as well as, an appreciation for art, music, and literature.


The rich strangeness of my life fills me with gratitude. It began in Pleasant Valley, at the foot of the Iron Mountains in eastern Washington.

At Gonzaga University I earned a Bachelor of Arts, Biology, obtained a Washington State Education Certificate, and received an Excellence in Education Award. During the summers, I worked in a plywood mill, on a fishing boat, and inspecting natural gas meters. After graduation, I accepted a yearlong contract to teach English in South Korea.

It was in Seoul that I learned healthy ways to deal with homesickness, to take pedagogical risks while teaching, to avoid disenchanted expats, and to make friends who wanted the best for me.

I climbed a mountain while exploring one morning. At the peak stood a crumbling Bongsu 봉수, an ancient fire beacon used as a signal half a millennium before. I found its beauty and connection to the past worthy of marvel.

After my contract I volunteered for a Korean NGO in Cambodia, where I lived and taught for three months. I witnessed the sunrise over Angkor Wat and bowed before the pagoda of human skulls at the Killing Fields.

Returning to the US, I taught science and sailing for a non-profit on Hyde Street Pier in San Francisco. Leading experiential learning programs on historic restored ships, I learned how to stand with my shoulders back and keep a crowd’s attention while the wind whipped the yard lines.

My friend worked for the San Francisco Symphony and would get me free tickets. The harmonious interplay of patterns enraptured me as I sat in the darkened hall.

Then, Lindblad Expeditions hired me as a deckhand and I sailed beyond the Golden Gate. I earned my United States Coast Guard license and was promoted to Third Officer. I piloted two National Geographic vessels through fjords in southeast Alaska and beside the red rocks of Baja.

Two years passed. I accepted a position in Lindblad’s Seattle office in marine operations. I worked as an instructor, technical writer, project manager, and lead auditor.

Before returning from an audit on the Baltic Sea, I used vacation days to see Paris, walking along the Seine and visiting the Louvre. In front of Notre Dame, I reflected on Victor Hugo’s words, “Great edifices, like great mountains, are the work of centuries. Time is the architect, the nation is the builder.”

Around this time I learned that the Greek word hamartia, translated as sin in the New Testament, comes from an archery term meaning to miss the mark. In response to the proliferation of drug use and homelessness on the streets near my office, I decided to work in homeless encampment remediation. For one year, I picked up needles, human excrement, and refuse.

As I cleaned up my community, I began putting myself together as well. I kicked bad habits, started good ones, lost sixty pounds, and improved my aim. I eliminated all my debt and started saving. I read more and eschewed screen time. Making peace with the God of my fathers, I traded Chris Hitchens and Richard Dawkins for a return to C.S. Lewis, St. Augustine, and the Bible. Learning how to study that foundational text in the original is essential to me.

The City of Seattle hired me to work with diverse groups of skilled trade laborers and ensure the safety of their job sites. I honed my listening skills, learned how to dialogue to consensus, and how to accomplish work in a bureaucracy that prized process over product.

Equity trainings were segregated and employees were made to state their pronouns and race. Peremptory speech, obligatory thought, and self-censorship were encouraged. Then, the mayor mandated Covid vaccinations. I decided to listen to the voice inside me. It said, we need antidotes to coercion not more doses of it.

I summoned the courage to tell my employer, No, and to explain my decision to friends and family who vehemently disagreed. The crux of the religious exemption I filed was: “Render the things that are Caesar’s to Caesar and the things that are God’s to God.” My exemption was approved, but in a catch-22, no accommodation was offered.

On November 2nd, 2021, I was “separated” for failing to comply with the mandate.

On November 3rd, 2021, at 6:00 am, I started writing. I began a Substack, and wrote a 100,000 word draft for a novel titled Year Xero. I continued volunteering at a program for teens in transitional housing I’ve assisted at since early 2021. I completed a transcontinental road trip, spending two weeks with a trucker convoy and three weeks visiting state/national parks and historical sites.

In D.C., I noted with appreciation how Bacon's Lincoln Memorial echoed the gravitas of  ’ Parthenon. One of my heart’s desires is to study the architecture that influenced the Hellenic beauty represented in our capital.

I spent the last six months writing because I believe that the Logos, the redemptive power and divine wisdom of words, is how we build the world. There are an infinite number of facts. Anyone can gather those that suit them. But a good story, like good music, or art, is invulnerable to criticism. Narrative is the theory of everything.

The west is built on words because they are mightier than weapons. But language in the west is being assailed. Now is the time to be able to use words properly.

The past has given us giants. We must decide which ones to stand on the shoulders of and which ones to slay. I believe Ralston College will equip me to tell the difference.

It is no small thing to be alive. To shoulder the burden of one’s humanity instead of shirking it. To replace fear with more imaginative stories about you and me. That is what I aim to do.

The time has come to climb to the highest places, redeem the ruins of our ancestors, and light the signal fires once more.


Lincoln Memorial 15 MAR 2022, showing Bacon’s columns influenced by Phidias.

Thank you to all of my readers and listeners. Happy Fourth of July weekend!

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